A Taste of Employee Life: How Being Honest With Yourself Can Trigger Positive Change
I honestly enjoyed my internship period, especially the first six months. However, already back at the end of 2018, I was starting liking the idea of having my own business.
When Work Feels Fine - But You Feel Off
I genuinely enjoyed my internship, especially the first six months. But already by the end of 2018, I was flirting with the idea of starting my own business. For the first time, I seriously believed I could create something valuable. What triggered that belief?
A mix of things:
- The workplace was disorganized.
- People earned well despite obvious skill gaps.
- Big mistakes had no real consequences.
In short, I felt empowered by the realization that if this was considered good enough, maybe I could do even better - on my own terms.
Intern Pay in Italy: A Punch in the Gut
That's why I felt so bad when a student of mine told me she gets 540€ a month for an internship in an engineering firm in Milan. I find it shameful, unfair… I can't find the words to express my disgust. And this made me think:
“What if I hadn’t left? What if I had followed that same path? What would that have done to my mental health?”
I don’t even want to imagine it.
A Taste of Language Schools Too
As I mentioned in my previous post, I also took classes at the Alliance Française in Brussels (only because someone else - my mom - paid for them). It was my first experience with language classes outside of school - 2.5 hours, twice a week.
The first few sessions were fine. But as work became more demanding - or just boring - I began to feel the strain.
Headaches after class, no energy to cook, let alone process French at 9 p.m.
The teacher was fantastic. The problem wasn’t her. It was my classmates. Many of them were too tired - or too lazy - to engage. And while time is a valid constraint, I also believe effort plays a huge role.
Let's say it louder:
It’s not just a matter of how much time you can dedicate to language learning.
Summer 2019: Cracks Start to Show
Toward the end of my internship, job hunting got tough.
I landed an interview thanks to a bold LinkedIn reply - before even sending my CV. That moment made me realize how badly I’d been selling myself before.
I went to Italy for a quick break then returned to Brussels to start the new job.
During my first week, my grandmother passed away. I’d visited her just days before and had the eerie feeling it might be the last time. Still, it came as a shock.
I had to return to Italy for the funeral. Though my manager was great, I barely knew anyone at the company. It felt awkward. And when I came back, they understandably asked for her death certificate to justify the leave.
Reasonable? Yes. But also invasive. I didn’t like how this bureaucratic reality intersected with something so personal.
An Unexpected Instagram Boom
That same month, my Instagram page exploded - from 800 to 9,400 followers in just three days. A woman who had become an influencer shared my story with her audience. How did she know me? She was part of the same Facebook group I mentioned in my previous article.
Suddenly, I felt reconnected to teaching Italian and working with Iranians. Yet, I had just signed a permanent contract with excellent conditions.
The words of one of the smartest people I know echoed in my head:
“You should work with your online community.”
I had no clue what that meant back then. But now? It made all the sense in the world.
The Limbo: Everything's Okay, But...
Life in Brussels was still mine. I had a decent salary. Great colleagues. A good job. But I wasn’t excited. Especially not for my boss, a genuinely kind person I deeply respected.
In particular, I felt very pitiful for my boss, who is a great person and who I wish all the best in his career. We were very close to each other because we started more or less at the same time in that place, we discovered everything together. I had understood that he worked a lot at night, but he had clearly told me several times that since I didn't have his responsibility and his salary, I was not supposed to do the same. It was very kind of him. Very fair, indeed.
Once, I asked him:
“Why are you here - in a consultancy - when you have such a young family?”
He told me he genuinely enjoyed that kind of work, but actually, there was more to that and I would discover it almost two full years later.