I thought I had “event-anxiety”... then I realised I was just born in Italy 

No group no social life

Where I come from, connections are made through groups. It’s probably still the same in smaller towns or so in Belgium, but in Brussels, it’s not, while I had the feeling that joining things alone in Milan was still quite a daring move.

For the record: I joined a lot of stuff in Milan even outside the typical happy-hour timeframes, because I felt that networking was more useful than attending university classes (and I was right).

That means I was not only going to parties where you get drunk or bored to death because the point is not talking..

Of course, I was always alone everywhere I went because I didn’t need bodyguards to go somewhere. I make up my mind and go.

Maybe in Milan I was a bit more shy than now, but in general I have the tendency to feel more at my ease when I am between completely strangers than if there are people I even barely know

Is Brussels a special case?

One could say: “Yeah but people in Brussels are nice just because they’re not real Belgians, they are not so open!”.

I used to think the same. However, last Saturday I had the ultimate proof that nope, there is a much deeper difference. And also that nope, Italians I met in Italy were not more closed, because I had the same issues here with supposedly international people

On Saturday I joined an event of a sort political movement, very Belgian-focused, I was just curious, and as soon as I put a step into the venue, I looked at the faces of the others - mostly men in the 50s - I thought: “F***, how can I fit here?”.

Very ‘belgo-belge’ somatical traits

Languages: 0% English, 60% Dutch, 40% French.

Honestly in Italy I would have definitely got at least one sir trying to flirt. Maybe it would have been the only connection I would have got from the whole thing, because I would have had to go there more times to know people properly.

Once is never enough

Yeah, another recurring issue I've had back to my homeland was that meeting someone once is not enough to be recognised.

Back in my childhood or early teenage I had another very bad problem: a good memory!

So, I would remember a lot about many people I would meet. But then, guess what

Nobody seemed to remember about me.

Which is why I would then end up sounding like The Stalker everytime just because I remembered a lot of details about everybody. I will be very harsh here, but I have the feeling that for the Italian culture caring about people you don't know is a sign of weakness.

The other must recognise you, not the other way round

So, for me this was another culture shock in Belgium: people greeting you in the streets after seeing you ONLY ONCE! How dared they then?

I still remember coming across people I knew superficially in my university and daring greeting them. Seeing each other once was never enough "to earn the privilege to be greeted". So, since I was tired of seeming the awkward one every time I stopped too. 

Did I got any flirt?

NOPE!

Instead, here I had very thoughtful and pertinent chats about Belgium. Zero flirts. A couple of business cards and other interesting acquaintances

I was treated more like a grandchild. Welcomed and hugely encouraged for being able to speak about those issues in Dutch too.

I don’t think a foreigner would have had the same experience if it happened in Italy.

I fit more this culture. 

Belgium is my country of choice.