Language, respect, and integration: how the immigrant behavior abroad can change compared to back home

I can get what Belgians say because they may not know the city properly (often I knew it better than them) and because having stayed in this country for a while their image may not have been so up-to-date. It happens. It’s ignorance. They go back to their town or village.

However, the same can’t be said for actual foreigners residing in this place.

Yes, there are problems… but just like anywhere I feel like there is a competition to depict it as bad as possible.

Messy Brussels - no other options?

One of the main complaints is bad trash collection or generally speaking the dirty streets. They often refer to the most degraded areas of Brussels, but unfortunately, the picture below was taken in one of the most expensive you can find.

It annoys me when these people who identify as "expats" in the EU bubble criticize "immigrants in the (famously degraded quarter of your choice)," especially when 1) the "expatriates" are also immigrants by definition, but with money and (in most cases) white skin, and 2) those "immigrants" in the other quarters they speak of in very generalized terms settled here long before these "expatriates" and are much better integrated into Belgian society.

Check out here the typical media coverag.

Streets don’t get dirty with trash by themselves. Since when the trash collection changed, I have rarely seen the front of my building properly cleaned.

My building hosts 99% of foreigners, Western foreigners to be precise. The kind of immigration you usually think makes fewer problems than the rest.

In a lot of these people, there is a subtle feeling of superiority toward Belgians. Like the typical French and Dutch cliché, Belgians are often considered essentially "dumb". Probably because they're sometimes (too) chill and very kind on average. Among my flatmates, there was often the saying 'doing things "à la belge"' (the Belgian way) to say "doing things poorly or randomly".

Add this to the constant contempt for the city: and now you've got the perfect mix to bring all of these people to not caring at all about it.

The front side of my building has been so dirty for so long because these very same people don’t even care about reading the rules.

It would be like the tourism slogan from some years ago—I don't know if it's still the same—of Spain. They were saying "Smile, you're in Spain".

I would say, "Smile, you're in Brussels."

Language is no f***ing excuse

“I speak only English, I’m not planning to learn French at the moment so I can’t read you know… why don’t they write it in English for us?”.

Being a white, English-speaking immigrant with money doesn’t make you more privileged. To me, any foreigner has to take the first step to adapt to the country.

The locals are not supposed to help, make you feel more integrated, or whatever. That's why I don't have any expectations from the Belgians regarding my situation as an immigrant myself. That's what I thought when I was back in Italy and that's what I apply in my daily life now that I'm on the other side

You should still abide by the rules. It’s up to you to get to understand them in the local language.

Public space and integration

I believe that they don’t feel guilty about littering because they don’t feel that the public space is also theirs.

There are several areas of the world where whatever is not fully private is no man's land and so you've got the right to ruin or vandalize it. That's a cultural issue, but it doesn't apply to every nationality in Europe. There are areas where it's more evident, but not everywhere.

In the majority of the European immigrants to Brussels, I'm convinced that not making any effort to know the country (first step: its languages) can play a key role in making you less sensible about it, especially when the locals feel chill and kind (would they dare to do the same in Flanders? I’m not sure…).

I feel like a guest and as a guest, first of all, I must not bother the locals. I think I should care about my business discreetly because I'm aware that the nice salary I had in the past has contributed to house speculation and that the building I'm in could have been rented or sold to low/medium-income families in the past instead of being filled with interns.

Unpopular opinion coming - are you sure to be that equal?

I also know I will never be essentially equal to a local. Expecting the opposite to me is pure wishful thinking.

If the opposite were true, you should ask yourself why so many people got back to their countries during the pandemic and it was not just a matter of being close to the families. The real hard truth is that if in an emergency there are 4 beds available in a hospital and there are 4 locals and one foreigner, nobody is going to give a place to the foreigner and let a local die.

In the case of Belgium, another part of being "a discreet intruder" for me is not fuelling what divides and creates tension within the country. If locals want to do it ok, fine, but a foreigner should not contribute to this.

These same expatriates despise Dutch as "an ugly and unimportant/uninteresting language" without realizing the weight of their words. That's the language of more than 50% of the population. Of the region with the best universities. Of the region producing the most real value and wealth.

(It's stronger than me but I cannot put wealth/value production of an industrial field equal to having flows of money from outside into the city with bureaucrats and consultants trying to justify their salary at the end of the month like I experienced myself). 

They are ignorant about the historical discriminations suffered by Dutch-speaking Belgians, whose memory plays a central role in the discourse of Flemish separatism.

You are free to have your own opinion, but you shouldn't mess up with the locals about that since it's still such a sensitive topic.

When I first posted this rant in some Instagram stories a lot of Belgians showed support, discreetly, in private messages... if you plan to emigrate somewhere else, probably it's worth not forgetting about it.